Trashy nincompoop Lohan slated to ruin film about Dylan Thomas

The entire population of the country of Wales must be clutching their chests in pain today after hearing the news that Lindsay Lohan has been cast in a film about the great Welsh poet Dylan Thomas.

"Lohan is to play the role of Thomas’ wife Caitlin, while Knightley will portray his childhood friend Vera Phillips.

"‘The Best Time of Our Lives’ is the title given to the film which is set in New Quay, Wales, in 1945.

"The story centres around a dramatic real-life attack on Thomas by Phillip’s husband William Killick. After an argument in a pub over Thomas’ friendship with his wife, Killick opened fire on Thomas’ home with a machine gun and grenades." (from gair rhydd.)

The machine gun and grenades sound terrific. Keira Knightley, too. Bring 'em on! But Lohan? Instead of spinning in his grave, today we imagine Thomas reaching for a stiff drink. And then another.

But I digress. Instead of the vacuous Lohan, instead of alcohol abuse, let us remember Dylan Thomas for his true legacy, such magnificent poems as Fern Hill and A Refusal to Mourn the Death, by Fire, of a Child in London.